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GilaMonster
Flowing Fount of Yak Knowledge

South Africa
4507 Posts
Posted - 02/20/2010 :  03:03:30  Show Profile  Visit GilaMonster's Homepage  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Kristen

Would be better to bring it back in-house. I can't believe there isn't some major data loss waiting just around the corner;


Almost certainly.

quote:
whatever the outfit there must be a need for some expert help to sort out this mess, and if they aren't adopting that "they are all doomed".


Yup. Wish I knew the company so I could offer my services (for a reasonable price)

quote:
I personally can't get any personal enjoyment out of helping further. I'm out ...


but, but, but,.... it's like watching a train wreck in process...

--
Gail Shaw
SQL Server MVP
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russell
Pyro-ma-ni-yak

USA
4967 Posts
Posted - 02/28/2010 :  19:04:58  Show Profile  Visit russell's Homepage  Reply with Quote
got one. http://www.sqlteam.com/forums/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=140581

can you find me a crack? wow
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tosscrosby
Aged Yak Warrior

USA
676 Posts
Posted - 03/01/2010 :  11:08:29  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by russell

got one. http://www.sqlteam.com/forums/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=140581

can you find me a crack? wow


Bend over and look in the mirror!!!!! ha-ha

Terry

-- Procrastinate now!
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visakh16
Very Important crosS Applying yaK Herder

India
47069 Posts
Posted - 03/04/2010 :  13:55:23  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
See the reaction

http://www.sqlteam.com/forums/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=140820

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SQL Server MVP
http://visakhm.blogspot.com/
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spirit1
Cybernetic Yak Master

Slovenia
11741 Posts
Posted - 03/04/2010 :  14:16:09  Show Profile  Visit spirit1's Homepage  Reply with Quote
it goes on for 2 pages yes noone even suggests using row_number as the optimal 1 pass through table solution.
jeez...

___________________________________________________________________________
Causing trouble since 1980
Blog: http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/mladenp
Speed up SSMS development: www.ssmstoolspack.com <- version 1.7 out!
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DonAtWork
Flowing Fount of Yak Knowledge

2111 Posts
Posted - 03/04/2010 :  14:24:06  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
But... why would he have to? He is 'Not Wrong'™

http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/jeffs/archive/2008/05/13/question-needed-not-answer.aspx
How to ask: http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/brettk/archive/2005/05/25/5276.aspx
For ultra basic questions, follow these links.
http://www.sql-tutorial.net/
http://www.firstsql.com/tutor.htm
http://www.w3schools.com/sql/default.asp
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Sachin.Nand
Flowing Fount of Yak Knowledge

2937 Posts
Posted - 03/04/2010 :  15:08:57  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by spirit1

it goes on for 2 pages yes noone even suggests using row_number as the optimal 1 pass through table solution.
jeez...

___________________________________________________________________________
Causing trouble since 1980
Blog: http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/mladenp
Speed up SSMS development: www.ssmstoolspack.com <- version 1.7 out!


But I think he would had argued on that to the way he did here.

http://www.sqlteam.com/forums/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=139575

This is what he had to say to Visakh when Visakh used an Apply

APPLY table operator is a nonstandard operator.
OUTER JOIN and EXISTS Predicare and EXCEPT set operator is Standard SQL.

Well then his basis would had been same if someone had posted a row_number solution as row_number is a nonstandard operator.

PBUH
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Kristen
Test

United Kingdom
22191 Posts
Posted - 03/05/2010 :  13:44:20  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
" Get me a tissue...."

BLindman you crack me up! Made my day ... after a long and stressful week... Thanks!
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Michael Valentine Jones
Yak DBA Kernel (pronounced Colonel)

USA
6997 Posts
Posted - 05/18/2010 :  18:53:48  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
We don't get that many one-post winners, but once in a while someone special comes along:
http://www.sqlteam.com/forums/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=144747





CODO ERGO SUM
Edited by - Michael Valentine Jones on 05/18/2010 18:54:49
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robvolk
Most Valuable Yak

USA
15559 Posts
Posted - 05/18/2010 :  21:53:51  Show Profile  Visit robvolk's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Wow, that was astonishing.
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DonAtWork
Flowing Fount of Yak Knowledge

2111 Posts
Posted - 05/19/2010 :  08:19:42  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
The man who WROTE the engine tried to help, and he STILL calls T-SQL crap, and the optimizer "primitive".

special indeed...

http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/jeffs/archive/2008/05/13/question-needed-not-answer.aspx
How to ask: http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/brettk/archive/2005/05/25/5276.aspx
For ultra basic questions, follow these links.
http://www.sql-tutorial.net/
http://www.firstsql.com/tutor.htm
http://www.w3schools.com/sql/default.asp
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Lumbago
Norsk Yak Master

Norway
3241 Posts
Posted - 05/19/2010 :  08:27:01  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
He must be a real thrill to work with. I suggest a custom sig for him right away: "Instant SuperTwit"!!

- Lumbago
If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts. Albert Einstein
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GilaMonster
Flowing Fount of Yak Knowledge

South Africa
4507 Posts
Posted - 05/19/2010 :  09:19:20  Show Profile  Visit GilaMonster's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Not taking any more of that kind of abuse. I can put up with a lot, that's way over the limit though.

--
Gail Shaw
SQL Server MVP
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robvolk
Most Valuable Yak

USA
15559 Posts
Posted - 05/19/2010 :  13:53:25  Show Profile  Visit robvolk's Homepage  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lumbago

He must be a real thrill to work with. I suggest a custom sig for him right away: "Instant SuperTwit"!!
Posting this as a reminder to come back and do that.

I'm open to suggestions if anyone has them.
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GilaMonster
Flowing Fount of Yak Knowledge

South Africa
4507 Posts
Posted - 05/19/2010 :  13:59:14  Show Profile  Visit GilaMonster's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Arrogance unleashed.

--
Gail Shaw
SQL Server MVP
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Michael Valentine Jones
Yak DBA Kernel (pronounced Colonel)

USA
6997 Posts
Posted - 05/19/2010 :  14:27:44  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
My guess is that he'll never be heard from again, so a custom title would be a waste.




CODO ERGO SUM
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DonAtWork
Flowing Fount of Yak Knowledge

2111 Posts
Posted - 05/19/2010 :  14:29:29  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I have numerous suggestions, but they all contain scatalogical or anatomical references...

Perhaps.... "Whitefang aint *doody*"

http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/jeffs/archive/2008/05/13/question-needed-not-answer.aspx
How to ask: http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/brettk/archive/2005/05/25/5276.aspx
For ultra basic questions, follow these links.
http://www.sql-tutorial.net/
http://www.firstsql.com/tutor.htm
http://www.w3schools.com/sql/default.asp
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GilaMonster
Flowing Fount of Yak Knowledge

South Africa
4507 Posts
Posted - 05/19/2010 :  16:23:38  Show Profile  Visit GilaMonster's Homepage  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Michael Valentine Jones

My guess is that he'll never be heard from again,...


I hope you're right.

--
Gail Shaw
SQL Server MVP
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elwoos
Flowing Fount of Yak Knowledge

United Kingdom
2039 Posts
Posted - 05/21/2010 :  05:23:30  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
My suggestion is "waste of time" or perhaps "Ultimate database guru"


steve

-----------

Deja Moo - The feeling you've heard the same bull before.
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Kristen
Test

United Kingdom
22191 Posts
Posted - 07/14/2010 :  07:04:12  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
OP: "I want a trigger to run every minute"

Me: "You need a Scheduled Task"

OP: "I've written a Trigger with a WAITFOR 59 seconds that then updates the underlying table but it doesn't work"

Me: "You need a Scheduled Task"

http://www.sqlteam.com/forums/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=147232
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