Microsoft introduced the sql_variant in SQL Server 2000. You can use the sql_variant to store data of an unspecified or inconsistant type. Or to store data of almost any SQL Server datatype.
Uh, Joe, you'd better close your ears for this one then:
SQL.Net!
If you hurry, I think you can still get involved with the class action suit, and force MS to drop this "necessary part" of the software and provide a simpler version.