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 graz kidnapped by balloon terrorists!
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robvolk
Most Valuable Yak

USA
15681 Posts

Posted - 06/13/2001 :  18:46:16  Show Profile  Visit robvolk's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Picture here

Reuters:

Bill Graziano was abducted today by an unidentified group of malcontents and whisked away in a hot-air balloon. Graziano is the administrator for the popular www.SQLTeam.com website, your source for those hard-to-answer questions about Microsoft SQL Server.

Although no one knows for certain who the kidnappers are, the picture linked above clearly shows "graz", as Mr. Graziano is commonly known, being pulled into the gondola by that tall guy. His whereabouts remain unknown at this time, and no ransom demands have been received.

The FBI, Interpol, and several UFO-coverup conspiracy nuts are searching desperately for graz. The current theory is that Rob Volk, a frequent contributor to SQLTeam and diagnosed loony, has orchestrated the abduction in an attempt to seize control of the SQLTeam web site. Several members of SQLTeam have remarked that Mr. Volk's behavior has been erratic lately, as evidenced by this and other SQLTeam posts and his member profile.

"Just look at his Identity-Primary Key article", says Mike Femenella, a SQLTeam member. "No sane person would write such a thing." Mr. Femenella also works for the same company that employs Mr. Volk, but refused to give more details, in deference to Nextel's already poor reputation, stating "...I cannot repeat the things he's done at work...they're disgusting."

Anyone with information about graz's whereabouts are urged to contact their local authorities. There will be a candlelight vigil and prayer meeting for graz's safe return every night until he comes back to us.

Edited by - robvolk on 06/13/2001 19:18:32

JustinBigelow
SQL Gigolo

USA
1157 Posts

Posted - 06/13/2001 :  23:17:51  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Those damn balloon raiders stole my last 6 = signs too

Justin



Edited by - justinbigelow on 06/14/2001 00:33:42
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Merkin
Funky Drop Bear Fearing SQL Dude!

Australia
4970 Posts

Posted - 06/13/2001 :  23:33:20  Show Profile  Visit Merkin's Homepage  Reply with Quote
I'll post some here, I have plenty because I haven't done much coding today


(Right click to save as)
===================================================





Damian
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JustinBigelow
SQL Gigolo

USA
1157 Posts

Posted - 06/14/2001 :  00:32:59  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
sweeeet

The = sign black market is alive and kicking!

(is the = sign stuff getting to silly yet or do we have a ways to go?)

Justin

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Tim
Starting Member

Australia
392 Posts

Posted - 06/14/2001 :  02:44:20  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
hey merkin how did you get funkadelic posting fiend as your title?

did it change universally or are you "special" ?

is this somehow connected to graz' dissapearance?

Maybe you guys have overthrown him just to get cool posting nicks?

Tim
--------------
"reread the identity-primary key piece again and vomited - again"

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looking4graz
Starting Member

1 Posts

Posted - 06/14/2001 :  02:54:38  Show Profile  Visit looking4graz's Homepage  Reply with Quote
keep your spirits up graz

we will find you

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Merkin
Funky Drop Bear Fearing SQL Dude!

Australia
4970 Posts

Posted - 06/14/2001 :  02:54:54  Show Profile  Visit Merkin's Homepage  Reply with Quote
I'm special

Nope had nothing to do with the disappearance, Kansas is too damn for from Sydney (At least I don't think I'm in Kansas Toto).

I think Graz might be involved in an international cartel dealing in black market "=" signs. That is very risky businesss.



Damian
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RickD
Slow But Sure Yak Herding Master

United Kingdom
3608 Posts

Posted - 06/14/2001 :  05:27:11  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
There seem to be plenty of '=' to go around, you're all wasting them like there is no tomorrow. Are you trying to slow the server down again??

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nr
SQLTeam MVY

United Kingdom
12543 Posts

Posted - 06/14/2001 :  06:32:49  Show Profile  Visit nr's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Just playing around with replacements for equals signs

select 1 where not exists (select * where 2 <> 1)
select 1 where not exists (select * where 1 <> 1)
seem to work whereas
select * where 2 <> 1
select * where 1 <> 1
of course fail

Guess exists... doesn't even try to resolve the select clause.




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RickD
Slow But Sure Yak Herding Master

United Kingdom
3608 Posts

Posted - 06/14/2001 :  07:17:17  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
But

Select 1 where 2 <> 1
select 1 where 1 <> 1

seem to work.

I would say that it takes the first select statement and ignores the select in ()..

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JustinBigelow
SQL Gigolo

USA
1157 Posts

Posted - 06/14/2001 :  09:23:02  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Maybe we could find some lonely - signs and pair them up. we'd be able to weather the temporary = sign draught but we may deplete our - sign stores. Is it worth the risk

Justin

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RickD
Slow But Sure Yak Herding Master

United Kingdom
3608 Posts

Posted - 06/14/2001 :  09:24:52  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I think it might just work.....

Who needs to subtract things anyway???

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robvolk
Most Valuable Yak

USA
15681 Posts

Posted - 06/14/2001 :  09:34:56  Show Profile  Visit robvolk's Homepage  Reply with Quote
quote:

I think it might just work.....

Who needs to subtract things anyway???



That's true, it's inhuman to take one number away from another. Plus signs, on the other hand, are so positive (groan) and upbeat.

BTW, I had NOTHING to do with graz's disappearance, that post was done by one of my other personalities...I think HE kidnapped graz.

Equal signs live! If there were no equal signs, there would be no balance in the world!

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I just realized that Sesame Street is sponsored by numbers and letters, but never matematical operators. I mean, they never say, "Brought to you by the equal sign". Maybe that's why there's a shortage: lack of corporate sponsorship.

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JustinBigelow
SQL Gigolo

USA
1157 Posts

Posted - 06/14/2001 :  09:48:25  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:

I just realized that Sesame Street is sponsored by numbers and letters, but never matematical operators. I mean, they never say, "Brought to you by the equal sign". Maybe that's why there's a shortage: lack of corporate sponsorship.



I could be wrong but wasn't the = sign one of the sponsors of the Stanley Cup Finals this year? Maybe they should sponsor a bigger event (like the Olympics) if it wants to get more recognition.

Justin

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RickD
Slow But Sure Yak Herding Master

United Kingdom
3608 Posts

Posted - 06/14/2001 :  09:54:06  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Graz is back, I just saw him over in General SQL Server forum....

Who paid his ransom??



Edited by - RickD on 06/14/2001 09:57:48
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graz
Chief SQLTeam Crack Dealer

USA
4138 Posts

Posted - 06/14/2001 :  10:00:06  Show Profile  Visit graz's Homepage  Reply with Quote
ROTFL! You guys are a HOOT! Some people have waaaay too much time on their hands.

Actually I double you'd recognize me from that picture. The little beard is gone along with that full head of hair you see.

And by the way, the guy sitting in the basket on the left looking over his shoulder is RocketScientist.

===============================================
Creating tomorrow's legacy systems today.
One crisis at a time.
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JustinBigelow
SQL Gigolo

USA
1157 Posts

Posted - 06/14/2001 :  10:12:14  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:

Who paid his ransom??




I found some loose change between my couch cushions. The kidnappers were happy to be rid of him.

Justin

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Tim
Starting Member

Australia
392 Posts

Posted - 06/14/2001 :  19:17:33  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Great operator quotes of all time
---------------------------------

(/)
"unary we stand divided we fall"

(*)
"go forth and multiply"

(^)
"by the power of greyskull"

(!)
"to be or not to be"

(+)
"just add water..."

(&)
"like (amper)sands through the hourglass so are the days of our lives"

(~)
"Waltzing (ma)tilda, Waltzing (ma)tilda"

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Merkin
Funky Drop Bear Fearing SQL Dude!

Australia
4970 Posts

Posted - 06/14/2001 :  21:33:30  Show Profile  Visit Merkin's Homepage  Reply with Quote
The drugs must be pretty good down your way Tim.......




Damian
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Tim
Starting Member

Australia
392 Posts

Posted - 06/15/2001 :  00:32:31  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
... it is decidedly so



Edited by - tim on 06/15/2001 00:34:30
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