Please start any new threads on our new site at http://forums.sqlteam.com. We've got lots of great SQL Server experts to answer whatever question you can come up with.

Our new SQL Server Forums are live! Come on over! We've restricted the ability to create new threads on these forums.

SQL Server Forums
Profile | Active Topics | Members | Search | Forum FAQ
Username:
Password:
Save Password
Forgot your Password?

 All Forums
 Site Related Forums
 The Yak Corral
 You know you've been a DBA too long when...
 Reply to Topic
 Printer Friendly
Next Page
Author Previous Topic Topic Next Topic
Page: of 2

graz
Chief SQLTeam Crack Dealer

USA
4149 Posts

Posted - 10/29/2007 :  15:24:31  Show Profile  Visit graz's Homepage  Reply with Quote
you hit F5 to send an instant message.

=================================================
Creating tomorrow's legacy systems today. One crisis at a time.

Kristen
Test

United Kingdom
22859 Posts

Posted - 10/29/2007 :  15:36:47  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
F5 eh? That's a bit old-fashioned isn't it?

I use

INSERT INTO MyTable(Recipient, Message)
SELECT 'Graz', 'Hello'

which involves a trigger to work out the recipient's MSN address, resolve any Smilies, but does allow me to use UNION ALL for annoying people to swamp them with messages ....
Go to Top of Page

graz
Chief SQLTeam Crack Dealer

USA
4149 Posts

Posted - 10/29/2007 :  15:50:15  Show Profile  Visit graz's Homepage  Reply with Quote
I'm old-school.

=================================================
Creating tomorrow's legacy systems today. One crisis at a time.
Go to Top of Page

dataguru1971
Flowing Fount of Yak Knowledge

USA
1464 Posts

Posted - 10/29/2007 :  16:01:31  Show Profile  Send dataguru1971 an AOL message  Send dataguru1971 a Yahoo! Message  Reply with Quote
Before a first date you start determining the best trigger to maintain relational/referential integrity.

Go to Top of Page

Kristen
Test

United Kingdom
22859 Posts

Posted - 10/29/2007 :  17:01:00  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"Before a first date"

Note that Relational Databases have no concept of a "first date". So you would need an "order by" (or in the case of advance queries a "group by" ) to establish which was the "first date")
Go to Top of Page

jen
Flowing Fount of Yak Knowledge

Sweden
4110 Posts

Posted - 10/29/2007 :  17:01:36  Show Profile  Send jen a Yahoo! Message  Reply with Quote
you're machine starts to hang and begs to be rebooted/shutdown
.
.
.
you're using two machines (one installed with server OS)

--------------------
keeping it simple...
Go to Top of Page

dataguru1971
Flowing Fount of Yak Knowledge

USA
1464 Posts

Posted - 10/29/2007 :  17:05:15  Show Profile  Send dataguru1971 an AOL message  Send dataguru1971 a Yahoo! Message  Reply with Quote
Okay, now your reply clearly indicates that you have been a DBA way too long.

Lets add "Correcting the SQL methodology of a joke" to the mix.

:)
quote:
Originally posted by Kristen

"Before a first date"

Note that Relational Databases have no concept of a "first date". So you would need an "order by" (or in the case of advance queries a "group by" ) to establish which was the "first date")

Go to Top of Page

Kristen
Test

United Kingdom
22859 Posts

Posted - 10/29/2007 :  17:06:16  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"you're machine starts to hang"

s/machine/equipment/ ...
Go to Top of Page

jhermiz
Flowing Fount of Yak Knowledge

USA
3564 Posts

Posted - 10/30/2007 :  15:13:29  Show Profile  Visit jhermiz's Homepage  Reply with Quote
"You know you've been a dba too long when..."

Your heart begins to sink when your business development department
requests that their new CRM tool should take advantage of excel and word databases...

No joke

Weblog -- http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/jhermiz
Go to Top of Page

Zoroaster
Aged Yak Warrior

USA
702 Posts

Posted - 10/30/2007 :  15:24:59  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
When doing a google search and highlighting part of a phrase to exclude it from the search.




Future guru in the making.
Go to Top of Page

elwoos
Flowing Fount of Yak Knowledge

United Kingdom
2052 Posts

Posted - 10/31/2007 :  09:21:41  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
You know you've been a DBA too long when...


You think its a good idea to have a database that automatically sends a text message saying Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas,... to friends and family


steve

-----------

Don't worry head. The computer will do all the thinking from now on.
Go to Top of Page

elancaster
A very urgent SQL Yakette

United Kingdom
1208 Posts

Posted - 10/31/2007 :  09:33:29  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
when...

someone in the pub mentions 'hash' an the first thing you think of is a join

Em
Go to Top of Page

DonAtWork
Flowing Fount of Yak Knowledge

2167 Posts

Posted - 10/31/2007 :  10:30:19  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
When you look at McDonald's menu and think "They should really normalize their data"

[Signature]For fast help, follow this link:
http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/brettk/archive/2005/05/25.aspx
Learn SQL
http://www.sql-tutorial.net/
http://www.firstsql.com/tutor.htm
http://www.w3schools.com/sql/default.asp
Go to Top of Page

jhermiz
Flowing Fount of Yak Knowledge

USA
3564 Posts

Posted - 10/31/2007 :  11:17:18  Show Profile  Visit jhermiz's Homepage  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by DonAtWork

When you look at McDonald's menu and think "They should really normalize their data"

[Signature]For fast help, follow this link:
http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/brettk/archive/2005/05/25.aspx
Learn SQL
http://www.sql-tutorial.net/
http://www.firstsql.com/tutor.htm
http://www.w3schools.com/sql/default.asp



Funny I've thought the same in the past!

Weblog -- http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/jhermiz
Go to Top of Page

TG
Flowing Fount of Yak Knowledge

USA
6065 Posts

Posted - 11/01/2007 :  09:37:40  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
You know you've been a DBA too long when...

1) You can only truely identify co-workers by looking at there sql coding style.
(much the same way a dog needs to sniff an ass to be sure)

2) if you don't have query analyzer available to you, you can't perform the simplest tasks
such as adding 2 numbers (yes, I'm still using QA...sigh)

3) when an attractive person of the gender you are attracted to says, "Hi!" You think,
"Great, another idiot can't connect to the dev box"

Be One with the Optimizer
TG
Go to Top of Page

spirit1
Cybernetic Yak Master

Slovenia
11752 Posts

Posted - 11/01/2007 :  10:21:39  Show Profile  Visit spirit1's Homepage  Reply with Quote
TG??? whoa!!! where have you been dude???

_______________________________________________
Causing trouble since 1980
blog: http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/mladenp
SSMS Add-in that does a few things: www.ssmstoolspack.com
Go to Top of Page

Kristen
Test

United Kingdom
22859 Posts

Posted - 11/01/2007 :  10:30:33  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"3) when an attractive person of the gender you are attracted to says, "Hi!" You think,
"Great, another idiot can't connect to the dev box"
"

You need to connect those ones to your PRODUCTION box mate!
Go to Top of Page

AndrewMurphy
Flowing Fount of Yak Knowledge

Ireland
2916 Posts

Posted - 11/01/2007 :  12:32:26  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
You need to connect those ones to your PRODUCTION box mate!

"Are you inferring IT/DBA staff are not attractive"???
Go to Top of Page

Kristen
Test

United Kingdom
22859 Posts

Posted - 11/01/2007 :  12:50:11  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
On the contrary ... TG's Point 3 only applies to the ones that are ...
Go to Top of Page

TG
Flowing Fount of Yak Knowledge

USA
6065 Posts

Posted - 11/01/2007 :  16:34:27  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by spirit1

TG??? whoa!!! where have you been dude???





Not sure what happened, man...I just sorta got out of the habbit of sqlteaming

Be One with the Optimizer
TG
Go to Top of Page

elwoos
Flowing Fount of Yak Knowledge

United Kingdom
2052 Posts

Posted - 11/02/2007 :  09:37:31  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
On the contrary ... TG's Point 3 only applies to the ones that are ...


plural?

-----------

Don't worry head. The computer will do all the thinking from now on.
Go to Top of Page
Page: of 2 Previous Topic Topic Next Topic  
Next Page
 Reply to Topic
 Printer Friendly
Jump To:
SQL Server Forums © 2000-2009 SQLTeam Publishing, LLC Go To Top Of Page
This page was generated in 2.79 seconds. Powered By: Snitz Forums 2000